Martyrdom of Fools

David Sitton talked quite a bit tonight about being willing to die for the name of Christ. He quoted one of my favorite passages: Acts 5:40-42. In that passage, we read of the apostles being seized by the high priest and the Sadducees. After some deliberation, we are told: "[W]hen they had called in the apostles, they beat them and charged them not to speak in the name of Jesus, and let them go. Then they left the presence of the council, rejoicing that they were counted worthy to suffer dishonor for the name. And every day in the temple and at home they did not cease teaching and preaching Jesus as the Christ." This text has always given me such a great example of "counting it all joy" when suffering in a trial. I'm coming to appreciate it all the more as I hear from David this week, recounting his and others' tales of suffering while trying to reach the lost around the world.

One example was his retelling of the story of John G. Patton, missionary to the Hebrides Islands beginning in 1858. Prior to Patton's departure, a man warned him not to go as the cannibals would kill him and eat his body. Patton's legendary response goes something like this: "You're an old man and will die soon. Thereafter, the worms shall eat your body. If I get to serve Jesus to the end, I don't much care if my body is eaten by cannibals or by worms."

Though David didn't mention it, when I think of martyrs, I always think of the startling vision of Revelation 6:9-11: "When he opened the fifth seal, I saw under the altar the souls of those who had been slain for the Word of God and for the witness they had borne; they cried out with loud voice, 'O Sovereign Lord, holy and true, how long before Thou wilt judge and avenge our blood on those who dwell upon the earth?' And they were each given a white robe and told to rest a little longer, until the number of their fellow servants and their brethren should be complete, who were to be killed as they themselves had been."

• Would I react to suffering dishonor for the name of Jesus with rejoicing because I was counted worthy?
• Does how my life will end frighten me from serving Christ?
• Could I be one of the Revelation 6 martyrs' fellow servants and brothers who is to be killed as they have been?

Paul tells me in Romans 12 that if I want to die, I need my mind to be renewed. May God help me to live Romans 12:1-3:

"I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect. For by the grace given to me I say to everyone among you not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think, but to think with sober judgment, each according to the measure of faith that God has assigned."

The thought that is haunting me is that I simply value myself too much to truly die for Jesus. I see my talents as too important to the local church for me to go and die somewhere across the sea. The gospel teaches me to see myself as nothing (not more highly than I ought) and God as everything. My real value is in dying for Him (presenting my body as a living sacrifice). Only then am I usable. And if I am willing to, it may be that He will use me to soften the harvest field with my humiliation among those that know me or with my blood in a dangerous unreached place. The problem is that I can't seem to make my mind take me to that spiritual place. This is hard thinking, supernatural stuff. God must do it. Oh, how I pray that God will re-orient my thinking and incline my heart to die.