She's Dating Me Again

My wife. The love of my life. My best friend. Yet another gift from God that is full of wonder and beauty and one that I did not deserve. We've been married 9 years and a few weeks. When I married her she was 21 and I was 30 (That's a whole other miracle of God that I won't take the time to describe here--i.e., the supernatural blinding of her judgment). We dated from September of 1997 until we married in August of 1998...and we started dating again a little more than a week ago. I don't mean we've been separated or uninterested in each other, because we have always enjoyed each other immensely. But, I'm so giddy these past days that I almost want to ask her Dad if I can marry her again. It's like our interest in talking late into the night and discovering more about each other has been set on fire again. We are talking about profound spiritual things.

Here's the really mind-blowing thing. We are going to begin pre-marital counseling of this terrific young couple tomorrow night. We love them and are very excited and honored to be part of their marriage preparation. We started looking over the counseling material and reading a great book by Dave Harvey entitled When Sinners Say, "I Do." It caused us to talk the other night at perhaps the greatest level of transparency about our sin that we have done to date. We talked about sinful desires and failures...and do you know what happened? The heightened understanding of our sin (after talking about it) and the resultant disgust of it caused us to revel in our Savior! Harvey quotes some old pastor (whose name I can't recall at the moment) as saying something like, "Only when you're sin becomes bitter, does the Savior become sweet." He really had something there! Oh, how I pray that we continue to learn that we are (in our respective eyes) the chief of sinners, so that we look to Christ more and more, and in so doing see that our marriage is sweeter still because of our merciful Savior.

So she's dating me again...and we're both falling in love with Jesus.

The Next Generation

Last night at our church's Men's Ministry's monthly meeting (wow that's a lot of m's) my friend Jeff spoke on the topic of why the men of our church need to be involved in the lives of our youth. Not just our own children, but other people's children. Other teens. Jeff spoke a lot about the formal youth group in our church and the need for leaders in it, but there is also the informal ministry to the youth by just acknowledging them, talking with them, praying with them, going to their baseball game...setting the context for the gospel, so that they might approach us when they need advice. Jeff rightly pointed out that some parents don't do a good job discipling their kids, and sometimes they just want to talk to someone who has demonstrated that they care about them and isn't a blood relative.

He did a great job and pointed to the sufficiency of Jesus Christ in how we might minister to these young people. This is just one example of the type of a ministry where men don't think they can be useful. I can hear them (and me) saying: "I can't do that. That ministry is for someone with more training than me...for someone with more energy than me...for someone that can relate to the youth better than me...maybe a younger guy."

I'm not saying that training, study, and spiritual disciplines aren't essential for effective ministry in any area. But in praying with Jeff, before the meeting began, the Lord reminded me of a passage I hadn't looked at in quite a while. In thinking about different ministries that men might feel ill-equipped for, especially reaching out to younger people who don't think they're cool any more, consider 2 Corinthians 4:5,

For what we proclaim is not ourselves, but Jesus Christ as Lord, with ourselves as your servants for Jesus' sake.

These kids need Jesus, believing kids and unbelieving kids alike. The unbelieving kids need to hear and see the gospel in the lives of older men. The believing kids need the same thing. For the sake of Jesus, we are to proclaim Jesus to them. That's something the men of our church (including myself) are able to do, and we know from past experience that when we do point people to Jesus, it's the thing we enjoy the most doing and is the only thing of value we have to offer to them...and it isn't dependent on how "hip" we are or how good of a teacher we are.

The next generation needs to hear us tell them about the gospel of Jesus Christ and what it means to us. They need to see us live in the light of it. That's the "with ourselves as your servants" part of the verse above. They won't learn biblical masculinity any where else. I pray God will move in our hearts to be obedient to the opportunity before us.

A Different Way to Make Peace

I like to think of myself as a peace-maker. I, like most, do not like confrontation. I am generally quick to resolve personal disputes and try to help others come together to settle their disputes. Often times I try to do it too quickly, when others need some time to meditate on their actions.

Even professionally, whether serving as an attorney or a real estate broker, a regular part of what I do includes helping people reach agreement (e.g., settling a contract dispute, negotiating the sale of a house, etc.). Of course, attempting to bring "peace" to personal or business hostilities has a lot of hurdles to overcome: personalities, hurt feelings, distrust, etc. In bringing people together, we need to think of the best possible solutions, we need to present them in a non-offensive way and at the most appropriate time. My attempts sometimes even exacerbate the problem. It's a fragile thing...trying to bring peace.

Reading and meditating through Colossians caused me to see the weakness of human efforts at peace-making. I'm not saying we shouldn't strive at it, but there is no guaranty that it will deal with all the nooks and crannies of the problem and there is not guaranty that it will be permanent. I mean how many times have resolutions proven to be ineffective because forgiveness was not truly given, hurts were not forgotten, and just simply sinful people rip open old wounds. This weakness of our trying to resolve differences is not because Colossians says as much, but rather because it presents the model of perfect peace-making.

Consider Colossians 1:19-22: "For in him all the fullness of god was pleased to dwell and through him to reconcile to himself all things, whether on earth or in heaven, making peace by the blood of his cross. And you, who once were alienated and hostile in mind, doing evil deeds, he has now reconciled in his body of flesh by his death, in order to present you holy and blameless and above reproach before him."

Jesus is shown as bringing about peace in a different way. He doesn't resolve hostilities by sitting the opponents down and talking through their problems in order to reach a compromise, like in a legal mediation. The opponents are God and His creatures. God is perfectly holy and men are perfectly sinful. Look at the description of men's sin: "alienated and hostile in mind, doing evil deeds."Jesus doesn't broker an agreement for men to be semi-sinful and God to be okay with that. Instead, Jesus takes matters into His own hands and resolves the hostility Himself. In effecting this reconciliation, Jesus performed a monumental peace-achieving event: He had men slay His sinless body (i.e., with its fullness of Deity) in order to bring about supernatural reconciliation. The offenders' sins are recognized as such and paid for. God's holiness is respected and appeased.

My way of bringing about peace: "How can I bring about compromise?"

Jesus' way of bringing about peace: "Men will never change, so I'll buy them with my death."

This different way of reconciliation deals with every hidden corner in a man and deals with it in a permanent way. After Jesus reconciles a man, they are presented "holy and blameless and above reproach." Praise Jesus, the unique and perfect Peace-Maker.

Ponderings on Colossians

Good intentions...covered in dust. That's what this blog has become. It was a good idea: Use this blog as a way to learn, practice and cultivate a cross-empowered way of thinking and living. Then my actual effort was required, and it falls on its face. This, unfortunately, is a common theme in my life. I daresay it is a common theme to all men's lives. So, how can I hope to take "good intentions" and turn them into good practices?

It turns out that Paul speaks to the Colossians about this very thing. (Providentially, I begin a Sunday School Series going through Colossians this weekend and spent a good deal of time in that book). Consider Colossians 1:5b-6 as it relates to 1:10-11. Here is the entire context (1:3-14) in which those verses are found:

3We always thank God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, when we pray for you, 4since we heard of your faith in Christ Jesus and of the love that you have for all the saints, 5because of the hope laid up for you in heaven. Of this you have heard before in the word of the truth, the gospel, 6which has come to you, as indeed in the whole world it is bearing fruit and growing—as it also does among you, since the day you heard it and understood the grace of God in truth, 7just as you learned it from Epaphras our beloved fellow servant. He is a faithful minister of Christ on your behalf 8and has made known to us your love in the Spirit.
9And so, from the day we heard, we have not ceased to pray for you, asking that you may be filled with the knowledge of his will in all spiritual wisdom and understanding, 10so as to walk in a manner worthy of the Lord, fully pleasing to him, bearing fruit in every good work and increasing in the knowledge of God. 11May you be strengthened with all power, according to his glorious might, for all endurance and patience with joy, 12giving thanks to the Father, who has qualified you to share in the inheritance of the saints in light. 13He has delivered us from the domain of darkness and transferred us to the kingdom of his beloved Son, 14in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins.

I am focusing on three things that Paul is saying to his brothers (and to me) here:

• First, the gospel bears fruit all over the world, but specifically in your lives since your conversion (vv.5b-6).
• Second, pleasing God by living rightly is the kind of fruit that the gospel produces (v.10)
• Third, sustained periods of right living (e.g., patience, endurance) is accomplished as we are strengthened with God's own power. (vv.11).

These truths are simple, yet awe-inspiring. The gospel in me results in God empowering me for significant, lasting periods of righteous living. This is applicable to every "good intention" I have as a Christian. I needn't live in defeat and despair. When I hear, "Be holy for I am holy," I know that holy fruit is possible through the power of God's gospel. When I hear, "sexual immorality and all impurity or covetousness must not even be named among you, as is proper among saints," I know that such purity is gospel fruit that is obtainable through His might.

As encouraging as this is, there is a criticism to this constant gospel-centered approach to things. It runs like this: "Waiting for God to do things for you is being spiritually lazy. You can't just keep sinning, because you don't have the power for spiritual success within you." It's an argument that needs answered. The objection is based on a wrong premise. The objection--which is much the same as the objection to God's sovereign control over all things--is based upon the belief that gospel-powered living is, at its core, fatalism. Gospel-powered living, however, doesn't say, "I hope God saves me from my evil desires. If not, it's His fault." That's not what Paul is teaching about being strengthened with God's glorious might. The basic question, then, that needs to be answered is: How does a believer avail himself of God's might (and thus have spiritual success)?

Before I even attempt an answer, I have to first acknowledge that the Scriptures proclaim that we can avail ourselves of His supernatural power. In talking to my friend, Dan, about this he reminded me of the great promise of 2 Peter 1:3 ("His divine power has granted to us all things that pertain to life and godliness, through the knowledge of him who called us to his own glory and excellence"). So, whether I understand perfectly how it works or not, it is a foregone conclusion that this power is, in fact, available to God's people!

But, let me try to provide at least the beginning of an answer. It's important to note this passage is in the context of Paul telling his brothers that he prays for them to bear fruit through God's power. This can't be overlooked. James 4:2-3 tells us that we continue battling out of our own sinful desires because we don't ask God to help us. So, the first action item for the believer is to ask God to grant you his power to succeed. We should be bold and ask God to help us. (Incidentally, have you ever wonder why we need to be constantly reminded of this simple action item?)

Second, is to have faith. Set your heart on Christ! Look to Him as your Savior for this trial rather than to yourself. Hope in His rescue, His provision, His might.

How do we avail ourselves of everything we need for life and godliness? How can I hope to be faithful in things like meditating on the Word and posting those meditations here? Pray and hope in the gospel.